What my husband learned from a diet.....and what he taught me
By Margaret Ashmore, LCSW

Recently, my husband decided to experiment with "a new diet". Knowing my strict anti-diet stance he told me of his plans and was well prepared for a debate.

"It's only short term" he said.

"I know it's short term," I quipped. "Because the majority of people can't stay on a diet long term."

"It's just a jump start to help me get the weight off fast then I'll eat normally."

"But studies show fast weight loss is unhealthy and a sure way to gain more weight back. Nothing good can come from a diet."

"I know you are right, he said. "It's not good for me. It's not healthy, but I'm going to do it anyway."

It is this very characteristic in my husband , that little bit of a rebellious streak, that I found so attractive before we got married I reluctantly agreed to review the diet with him.

"This is awful I told him. All you can eat is soup and fruit."

"I'm only going to do it for a week."

What is it about dieting?
What is it about dieting that keeps us hooked? Just like the pretty, colorful packages in the store window that promise a product that will provide happiness, success, and in some cases even love, diets profess to give us everything we want - and quick.Why do we let ourselves be tricked? What is it about human nature that causes us to want a quick fix? Is it just laziness?

My husband made out his grocery list for his special soup. He faithfully prepared it and stored it for his weeklong quest. He planned to start on a Monday. That weekend he ate twice as much icecream as usual.
"I need to eat this now he said, a touch of sadness in his tone. I can't have any next week."

"See," I responded, ever ready to prove him wrong, "already you feel deprived and you haven't even started the diet yet. And besides don't you see you're eating more than you normally would to make up for what your going to miss? But go ahead try it." I gave in knowing there was no stopping him once his mind was made up.

Now, I happen to find my husband to be extremely attractive. I am very much in love with him and have never even thought about his weight. In fact I don't even know what he weighs. While I want him to be healthy and we both encourage each other to be active I have never suggested he needs to lose weight. Why then did he feel a need to do this, I wondered.

Then it dawned on me. My husband wants to be the best he can be. He believes in bettering himself and in getting things done. Being efficient is another characteristic I appreciate about him. Isn't efficiency a positive human quality anyway. A drive for efficiency is what led to the invention of airplanes and solar power and in the future many more contributions which will enhance our lives. It is not laziness but the desire for efficiency and self improvement that causes us to try new things. And it is in our experimentations that we learn.

My husband lost a few pounds that week. He has since gained them back. Having suffered the consequences of low energy, irritability and a lack of pleasure that comes with any diet espousing deprivation he has decided that diets are stupid. He is starting to exercise again.

"You are right he says, graciously. Dieting doesn't work. But I did learn something. I love fruits and vegetables and since I tried that diet I am eating more of them " he points out, proving me partly wrong.